I could be famous if I were pretty

I have felt this way for a long long long time. I do believe this is true and have been told as such by many a people in the industry. Prettier and less talented actresses (yes yes I can toot my own horn once in a while) get more work and fame than me. True there could be something in my personality and strategy that isn't working. That is also possible.

However, pretty people DO have it easy in this society and all societies in fact. Why? I am sure pretty people don't mind because they get advantage for being pretty. If I were pretty I wouldn't mind the advantage either. I also want life to be easy.

I am sure pretty people will read this and go- "well life isn't easy for me and i don't get everything just because i am pretty, i also have talent". Sure!!! I say cry me a river. Unless you are UN-PRETTY you don't know what it is like. And sure pretty people also have talents. And really it is not their fault that the world is stupefied by prettiness. I blame the people who GIVE advantage to someone who is prettier over someone who is not.

Now, someone may read this and go......."oh my god how self-involved is she!!! She asking fr sympathy. Just grow a pair, be strong and deal with things like an adult". Well, let me just say- I HAVE told myself that many many times. I suppose if it worked it would have worked by now. My husband can and does tell me he thinks I am pretty...........and even though I want to believe it and really embrace his words, I cannot. It is as if I am taking out the anger of the world on him. All those people who have in direct and indirect ways told me I am not pretty.....they make me angry and I suppose my husband doesn't get thanked for his kind words.

I hate the words "pretty" and "beautiful". They make me feel like a Have-Not. I will always be one and it is not something I can control. It is what I was born with. Unless I become rich and spend all my money on plastic surgery to alter and make me pretty......I will always be a Have-Not.

So, what to do? I do try to be okay with myself. It is not easy. I tell myself you are okay the way you are. but I know that I am not. This is why the One-Woman show I suppose. This is why. To tell myself and others we NEED to love ourselves- just the way we are. Tough it is, but we need to find a way.