Face Wax & New York Times article on Women in developing countries

Yesterday I got my face waxed! It is weird sharing this piece of information but here is why it is significant to this blog- I have been feeling "not pretty" and "not beautiful" lately. And my attitude was, "there isn't much I can do about it".

Then I went to get my eyebrows done....while in the chair I thought why not get the side burns, moustache (excuse me upper-lip) waxed.....well why not the whole face. The lady working on my eyebrows was happy because I would be spending more money now. So, there I was with a clean face. She even said how happy my husband would be now that I have a clean face. I don't blame her. She is a South Asian woman who still adheres to many of our cultural values. Because I certainly didn't get my face cleaned for my husband. Even when I showed him my face at night, he looked at me with puzzling eyes that said "woman are you crazy?!!! Why are you jutting your face out like this and what is it that I am supposed to notice that I am not noticing, and if I don't notice it right away I will be in trouble for not noticing....!!!!!" So, yes he was not comfortable with my "guess what is new about my face" question.

Anyways, I bring this up because in a weird way I felt more confident about myself once I did this. It was as if I was one of those women on reality TV who get a shot of botox or something to fix their physical appearance. So, I thought - that's what it must feel like to have your eyebrows lifted and your cheek-bones filled in. The temporary yet strong feeling that I am pretty now. Until the time something else becomes the reason for feeling ugly/non-pretty.

The other thing I want to address is last week's New York Times article on Women in Developing countries. It basically talks about (I haven't read the whole thing yet) need for educating women and empowering them, especially in developing nations. And it is written by By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF and SHERYL WuDUNN (a husband and wife pair) who have written a book titled Half The Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. In the light of such a need to make sure we are providing women with education etc....I felt that my show is really only talking to women who already have access to education & have a lifestyle where they can afford to worry about their bodies. But if you live in impoverished circumstances you probably are not thinking about putting on weight. I don't know, but that's my assumption anyways.

But then I also thought, if we can get the educated and working women to stop expending their energy in worrying about diets and what makes them look thin, and instead use it on how they can make the world around them better- this could really work towards helping women all over the world to help each other and educate each other.

To that end, I would say to men- you all need to ask yourself this question that I asked a male friend of mine today= "What are you doing to make the society more respectful towards women? In other words, how are you working towards eradicating the gender biases and gender inequality in our society?" These are important questions. Men should truly ask themselves that. If someone wants to discuss this with me, please send me a note.

Also, in today's world there is more discussion on how to bring up girls, which is much needed. In very stereotypical sense what I mean is do you give them dolls to play with or trucks. But I feel that very few parents go through that debate with raising boys. To me that implies that we are proceeding towards a future where there might be more diversity in what kind of girls and women we see, but men will be just the same. This will definitely not help solve the gender issues. We cannot just change how we raise one group, while allowing the age-old sexist ideas take home in the minds of our young men.

If you are a parent, I hope you will think about what your boy will learn about the world and about the opposite gender.

Well, that's all for now. Do write back if you don't agree with me. I would love to hear your thoughts.