Clothing crisis

So I wore my business suit for work this morning. Barely fitting it. Oh well- I thought. May be I do need to watch what I eat just so I don't have to spend money on buying newer clothes.

Well- I get to work & lo & behold my fear stands in front me. Part of the work now involves taking off the suit jacket. So I'm now expected to stand there in my tightly fitted shirt & suit pants, with my panty line showing & my fatness in full glory for all to see & judge.

So needless to say I'm grumpy & angry as can be because I wasn't informed about this change. If I knew I would have chosen clothes accordingly.

Solution? I will be wearing a T-shirt on top of my collar-shirt. Only I will be doing this. Not my other 3 colleagues. They seem to be able to do this taking-off-the-suit-Jacket action with a flourish! So, my putting on the T-shirt will be putting a little more focus on my need to cover up. And that I'm FAT.

Now to make this into a learning moment I should ask myself to not worry about it & just take off the jacket & breathe & let my panty-line show. I would be doing this to prove a point that no one will get because they will be busy judging my fatty body. May be this is not the place to try to make a point. May be I should protect myself. Be gentle to myself. I don't know what I'm going to do yet.

I feel like crying....