A woman in men's world

Let me start by what I saw last night on my way home from rehearsal for my one-woman show. A woman dressed in something like net figure hugging short dress. Something like this photo. White & tight, showing off her thighs and legs. She wore high black heels, long hair (don't remember color), with a small purse slinging across her shoulders. Well she was crossing from North side of Queens Boulevard to south side. A few men, young men, Mexican looking men, came down the stairs with me from the subway station. They saw her and I saw them seeing her. I saw the twinkle in their eyes, the look that said "Oh yeah baby!!!". Within a fraction of a second they all, as a group, without saying a word, decided to follow her. And I thought to myself, "I can't believe this. In India this would be commonplace, but in America?" I was a little shocked by this.

Anyways, so I watched them follow her. 4 men following a young woman. She was walking towards, what seemed like to me a dark street, and it worried me. So, I made sure I kept an eye on them. Well, two of them, without wasting any time, were walking very close behind her, and the other two strolled behind as if to watch the action and hoot and holler. Of the two men very close behind her, one of them (from where I was standing and from what I could see) put his right hand on her ass, turned around to get a "I'm the man, Yo!" approval from his buddies. He walked like that for two or three steps and then let her go.

She, in the meantime, didn't react. At all. Didn't flinch when he put his hand on her ass. I do think he did put his hand on her ass. Regardless, she kept on walking. I am sure she knew what was going on, but to give them focus would have only given them more power, I think. So she kept walking....I hope she got home (or wherever she was going) safely. I wonder how she felt and what she was thinking.

As I walked home, I thought...this is like the chicken or the egg.....Did she dress in a way that attracted that kind of behavior? In a way how rape victims are questioned- to make sure their behavior didn't invite the rapist to rape them. I was shocked that I was even thinking it could have been her fault for wearing what she wore. It troubled me that I was thinking this way. Was I jealous of the attention she got? That's ridiculous. they insulted her. Would I want to be insulted? No. But the attention is good. That attention to me says, "You are pretty". Well, that is another thing with body-image issues....your brain makes you think things you wouldn't want to.

Anyways, as I ponder more now I realize that under no circumstances can this be her "fault", or that she didn't "ask for it". This is why- if a man were dressed handsomely....(you all know what an attractive man to you is, so use your own image)...or lets say even a man walking around nude and ....well this is interesting...we don't objectify men the same way....I can't believe I can't even paint a picture of an attractive man. To me the idea of groping a man in the subway, or the street just wouldn't occur. I might find a man attractive...but I wouldn't go stand behind him just so I could touch his junk somehow. May be there are women who would do that. I would like to meet them. They can teach me a thing or two. But the point is...women are not taught to disrespect other people's bodies in the way men are taught to do whatever the hell they want to do.

I can't put responsibility on the woman for wearing what she wore. What is outrageous is that men in our world feel the right to invade a woman's space, and infringe on her right to be and to experience the world as freely as men do.