In the subway again. Heard a young woman make this comment about some celebrity she was watching on her boyfriend's ipod. I immediately turned to look at this young woman. Who was she & what did she look like to make such a comment?
Fair, tall, nor waif like & neither chubby. Normal weight I suppose. Her boyfriend- darker than her. May be even a little shorter than her in height unless he was slouching too much & mis-judged. They were watching this video together & sharing ear-phones.
When I didn't know who she was talking about I thought "how mean she is". But when I learnt that they were looking at some celebrity, somehow I thought "absolutely criticize the celebrity- good for you". And then as I continued to sit opposite from them I kept looking at her. Her face & her body. I wondered what she might have to say about me. I compared myself to her in my mind & thought "well she is younger, taller, fairer & most likely more hip than me". Within seconds she had a higher status even though now I started disliking her comment more & more. I was afraid of her. She could judge me & I would know that she is right.
Women's self-esteem is not only affected by how men in their lives treat them but also how other women in their lives treat them. Role-models are important. When we start thinking of ourselves as responsible to others in our community, we might choose differently.
On that note of responsibility to community- had a great/deep discussion with my director, Francesca Mantani Arkus, the other day. She said "New York is my community & even if I'm in a tough situation I still help others who are in worser situations because life changes on a dime & one day if I'm in need of help I hope someone will step up & help me". Karma - I think that's what she was talking about. Do unto others as you'd like them to do to you. Life can be so simple.
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