Monday, September 21, 2009

Muffin Top

Well yeah....we all know this term & dread it. Hesitantly I tried on a pair of jeans that I haven't worn for a while. Hesitant because I wasn't sure if I would still fit in them.

This summer I went through a rebelion of sorts. No jeans. More skirts & salwar kameez- they make me feel feminine. Also, no dieting. Eating breads & pasta if that's what's for lunch or dinner.

I don't have gym membership- too expensive. I don't like to go for a run in the neighborhood, because I don't like to be seen & judged while I'm a "work-in-progress". Was doing yoga for a while, but my torn labrum didn't allow me to continue. And the discipline to do something at home- well clearly hasn't happened.

As a result, I've put on weight, and now I'm panicking. My old habits are telling me to go on some kind of diet right away. My commitment to my solo-show & to loving one's body no matter what- are getting in the way. I used to wear these jeans without my muffin top....but I also used to not eat pasta & bread etc. I was on a life-long diet, but I told myself it is a life-style choice & is okay.

So now I need to do something that I can feel powerful & good about doing....hmmmm...... May be just buy new clothes that fit me NOW!!! May be this is my true body, but I've been too ashamed of it & have been dieting all this time....to keep it hidden.

How does one know what our true body is? Any thoughts out there???

(Written & sent from Smartphone)

1 comment:

  1. hey,
    one: I dont see why u can't go running in a park nearby, if you can showoff your personal matters here, in public blog ?? Nobody cares, and nobody knows u in the park dear...so go ahead, take some fresh air. 2: I feel it's first of all, not about being fat or skinny... It's about feeling good in our body. It's about feeling and being active... healthy! I also feel eating bread n pasta is okay, as far as one can watch the quantity intaken.
    Every body is diffeent too... Some people just get fat by eating ONLY vegetables and rice...just be yourself. 3: Dance regularly ( discos) on bollywood music or whichever music makes you move :)) i miss u

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